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“They need to know that they aren’t all on their own, that they are supported.” Rule #3: Let her toot her own horn Avoid squelching your daughter’s natural exuberance and pride.As they get older, some girls get embarrassed when they’re singled out—whether it’s for winning the 100-metre dash or the science fair—and even try to downplay their accomplishments. (Let’s be honest: How good are you at taking a compliment?Knowing that you’re capable of handling difficult situations on your own can be a very powerful lesson.Rule #5: Avoid the B-word As ambitious women have learned for generations, Type A women are “bossy,” while Type A men have “leadership skills.” And since bossy isn’t exactly seen as a desirable quality (last year Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg launched a social campaign to #banbossy), it’s time to scrub it from your vocabulary.Let her have an age-appropriate say in matters that affect her, advises Grant.Her daughter has weighed in on what she wears and which extracurricular activities she does since an early age.Instead, she talks about better ways to communicate ideas and collaborate with others.Julie Freedman Smith, one of the co-founders of Parenting Power, a Calgary-based coaching organization, encourages parents to practise assertiveness.
We build their self-esteem and then undercut the message by talking about how fat, forgetful or stupid we are.
“I ask what they think and why they think that,” she explains.
“It raises their consciousness about the issues while also empowering them by communicating that their ideas and opinions matter.” Rule #2: Give her a say If we expect our daughters to make good decisions once they reach the corner office, they will need lots of practice.
) In the long run, self-effacement can lead to a loss of confidence.
So if your daughter shares that she got a great mark on a test, don’t tell her it’s impolite to brag—celebrate her success with an enthusiastic, “Fantastic!